Better Wheels than Heels Part II

It’s been a long time in coming, but because the fans have requested it, here is the second half of my top five Turtle vehicles!  Previously I discussed both the Foot Knucklehead and the strangest of all Turtles conveyances, Cuddley the Cowlick, a time and space transcending severed cow’s head.  Well, it is going to be pretty hard to top that, so I probably shouldn’t even try.  Although the next three vehicles obviously can’t be as wacky and creative as ‘ol Cuddley, they are pretty awesome in their own right, so, without further ado, let’s get to:

3) The Neutrino’s Hover Car: It is fairly indicative of the bizarre and wonderful world of the TMNT that some of their allies from the early episodes of the cartoon are a group of exiled teenagers from Dimension-X that inexplicably resemble, both in speech and costume, a sci-fi version of hot-rodding greasers from the 50’s.  These Neutrinos apparently make up part of the population of Dimension-X, along with sentient walking rock piles and ambulatory blobs of brain-matter.  Likelihood: Pretty slim.  While this contraption could probably be skoped together, I don’t have any real plans to intoduce the Neutrinos, who were a lot cooler when I was a kid than they are now

2) The Party Wagon: The first few episodes of the cartoon had the Turtles hoofing it around Manhattan, and obviously that wasn’t going to work too well. However, it’s the brilliant and ridiculously resourceful Donatello to soup up the van that the green teens sort-of-kind-of stole from Baxter Stockman.   I love how the Turtles unabashedly just steal all of Baxter’s stuff since, after all, he’s evil and doesn’t really need it anyway.  Also, you ever wonder where exactly Don found the hi-tech weaponry bristling from the van?  One way or the other, it’s hard to deny that the Party Wagon, A.K.A. the Turtle Van is a pretty awesome conveyance.  Dubious ownership and thematic Turtle paint job included, this is, without a doubt, the definitive Turtle vehicle, but despite that, it’s only number two on my list!  Likelihood: Fair.  While it’s far from certain, it is possible that something could be skoped together for the van, perhaps based on Val’s Iron Hide van mesh.

1) The Turtle Blimp: That’s right, my number one Turtle vehicle, and in many ways, a great synecdoche for all of the wonderful wackiness and adventure that was at the heart of the old 80’s ‘toon, is the Turtle Blimp.  I mean, what other show would have its heroes ride to the rescue in a giant, incredibly vulnerable, and slow-moving conveyance.  Forget the Batmobile.  Forget the Black Beauty.  Nothing says riding in style like a giant inflatable balloon!  As a kid the blimp seemed so incredibly unique, and it really was.  You have to wonder though, where the heck did they store that thing in the sewers?  Well, no matter.  For my money, nothing says Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles like the Turtle Blimp!  Likelihood: Good.  I would REALLY love to use this flying bastion of Turtle Power in the mod, and there is a very talented fellow trying to figure it out for me.

Well, that’s it, the much belated top three Turtles vehicles according to your happy host.  I hope that someone enjoys this, and keep your eyes open for some more Turtle adventures latter this year!